Ponderings from the Polytunnel

No Kidding!

In a small seaside town, a group of kids are causing trouble. They roam the streets in gangs; sometimes terrorising, often vandalising. Helpless residents nervously pull back curtains with trembling hands to gaze upon the havoc wreaked. Oh, the things their eyes have seen! The untold horrors! The trouble makers are a well-known group of local lads from up the hill. A wild bunch – Hill Billies you might say – and nobody can stop them. It’s not just youngsters behind hooded woollies causing the mayhem. Whole families are confident and bullish as they move in on new turf. Irresponsible adults show their kids how to decimate a garden, leave their calling card at the traffic lights, and butt their way through the local superstore. No garden is safe! They trash the streets, lounge on the beach and even disrespect sanctified ground. They lavishly break all social etiquette and flaunt the law. Yes, the renegade goats of Llandudno are having a wonderful time while human beings bemoan their incarceration!

This pretty town on the north coast of Wales is nestled between two limestone peninsulas – the Little Orme and the Great Orme. The wild Kashmiri goats are usually content to live on the Great Orme, only taking a trip into town in stormy weather or for essentials – you know, essentials such as, dining out on prize winning cultivated rose bushes! When it went so quiet during the first national lockdown 12 months ago, they decided to take a closer look at how the other half live. It seems they’ve found their Nevada and have no intention of climbing back up that giant hill! By in large, their antics have delighted and entertained but a problem has recently come to light. Every year the goats are given contraceptive injections to manage their numbers. Due to the pandemic, they didn’t receive them last year and the population is growing. They’re also roaming further than they’ve ever done before (as far as 2 miles), and there are concerns that they might set up home in ‘Newfoundland’.

No social distancing for these guys waiting to have their lockdown locks trimmed! Photo – Brian Lane
Synchronised hedge trimming -Photo Andrew Stuart

Now, here’s a sentence I never thought I’d write – I quite envy the goats of Llandudno! They’re free to go where they want, meet who they please and ‘be goat’. There have been reports from around the world of animals exploring these strange habitations we call towns and cities, making the most of our inactivity. Like them, we too have an innate curiosity; a need to venture and explore, to see and try new things. But it’s been supressed for the last year. Oh, for a map, a flask of tea and the wind in our hair!! With childlike curiosity, we can at least explore the micro worlds at our fingertips; leaves, spider webs, morning dew on the grass.  I am so grateful for them.  I don’t know about you but as soon as I can, and with the exclusion of certain anti-social activities, I plan to be more goat – no kidding!

Climb every mountain – Photo Andrew Stuart

Published by the back door gardener

Passionate about growing food in any space and about teaching others to do the same. I'm trying to start a backdoor revolution - no allotment needed. I've fed myself from my garden for over 10 years; only needing to buy some emergency parsnips for Christmas several years ago.

9 thoughts on “Ponderings from the Polytunnel

  1. This time dear Lady you have given yourself a massive problem! This so far surpasses all of your previous blogs, it rises higher than the cedar of Lebanon that alll of the rest are in the shade.!!
    GREEEATTT

  2. My precious, precious friend, thank you, thank you, thank you. I needed to read that to put my life into perspective and to laugh. Brilliant Isa, absolutely brilliant. With each ‘Pondering’ your writing skills are honed into a fine art.

  3. Absolutely ! i also envy the goats and they are now internationally famous – puts Llandudno on the map! Wonderful creatures and they have a right to roam .One of the weird and surprisingly uplifting aspects of the last year! Keep going with your ponderings Isa – they cheer us up !.

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